lights. camera. action. and scene.

i am sorry you are so sarcastic all of the time
and you will not find truth
and you will feel insecure about sincerity
and you will guard yourself from vulnerability
so much
and all that guarding will tear you down inside

you and all of your stimulants
"take a picture of me
i look so pretty
and they are with me
and this is the time of my life"
you wake up so confused

and everything beautiful is nothing to you
unless it's something to everyone else.

fashion is the sword in your hand
and deep down you're unhappy
so plunge that sword a little deeper
in your chest
and rip it out
and plunge it deeper again
so you feel something
besides the alcohol and nicotine
pulsing through your papery veins.
sweatbands and robots and love songs,
beer connoisseurs and artists and lovers
and secrets and lies and lies.

say you don't try
but you try so damn hard.
i see it in the darkness
that has made its home
on your face
beneath your eyes.
wake up, dear sleepers,
life is to live in the daytime.

the lies that the devil tells us

you are dirty even when you are clean
smile, the tar is between your teeth
you're farther from grace than you're used to
oh the lies that the devil tells us

the smell of smoke lingers on your breath
from the burning that can't be put out inside you
rotting from the inside out
and He doesn't smile when He looks upon you

the hands, large and threatening
bear claws ripping at your zippers and buttons
they want to undress you
that is the measure of your worth

no one will see you for who you are
that pretty face hides an empty shell and
at the heart, you're nothing but a slut in sheep's clothing
these are the lies that the devil tells us.

glasses (words i might regret, later)

hand me a pair of rose-colored
glasses

so i can slip them on,
resting gently on my nose and ears,
so i can see my toes curling over the edge
as something beautiful
something intentional
and masterfully orchestrated,
like the moments before a dance
toes tickling as they just barely touch
the side of the stage,
the curtain is rising...

or maybe just even my slightly prescripted glasses
would do, too.
my head is dizzy,
part of me is going blind
and i feel on the edge
of something i cannot stop,
a train growing icy cold
snowballing in speed
dangerous, oh
and my jeans are frozen to the hard plastic seat.

and i just want someone to dance with
but i want to see this for what it really is.

"take care"
those words resonate in my head
so casual and we know it stands
for so many other things
we can't say.
they say to me
"i can't care about you like i did"

i hope you know i kissed someone else
and i thought to myself,
his lips against mine,
you deserved it more.

take care.